Texting Limit
by Autopsy Gremlin
Summary: When the Doctor and River get cell phones, chaos is sure to ensue- though it may be rather endearing. Bananas, poetry, and Charlie the Badger- the Doctor needs a texting limit. Oneshot, Doctor/River humor and fluff.


**Texting Limit**

**A/N: **Hello! This is a River/Eleven fic- so if you don't ship the ship, go watch the minisodes First Night/Last Night, and then come back once you have been converted. :)

I know the whole cell phone thing is kind of ridiculous, but the story was fun to write. I've never attempted anything Doctor Who before, so I apologize if this comes out a bit wibbly-wobbly-timey-wimey. This is a mid-time fic, but River still knows a bit more than the Doctor. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **Doctor Who belongs to the marvelous Steven Moffat, and I am not him.

***bowties are cool***

She was sure that the cell phones had seemed like a good idea at the time. One for him, one for her- maybe he would actually answer his phone every once and a while. He had even gotten a phone case with a badger on it, for goodness sake- he had been _very_ happy about that.

But honestly- River had woken up to _one hundred and eleven _new messages.

Which was just plain ridiculous.

Not that she didn't like the attention, of course- she rather loved it, and shopping had been a fun way to spend the night, but she was starting to think that her Doctor needed a texting limit. Or, at the very least, a, "No texts from three o'clock in the morning to seven o'clock," rule.

He was very, very lucky she didn't have her ringer on. And most of the messages were complete nonsense- for example-

_BANANAS ARE COOL, BOWTIES CAN BE BLUE, I LIKE BABIES AND I LIKE-_

Well, that one was rather endearing-

_RIVER! I'VE SOLVED IT! YOU HAVE MAGIC HAIR- MAGICAL TIMEBABY HAIR, YOUR MOTHER WAS CLOSE WITH THE WHOLE TIME HEAD THING-_

But some were just ridiculous. And what was all this about _potassium? _Honestly, you would think he only ever ate bananas. And bragging about his inventing the banana daiquiri was all well and good- rather impressive, actually- but after sixteen messages, it got a bit old. And at _least_ thirteen were just him trying to find the 'insert photo' button- and the twelve messages that came after that with pictures of him posing with the TARDIS console with his thumbs up were ridiculous.

(But would probably be up on her wall soon.)

And he seemed to be stuck on caps lock- eternally screaming and excited, which wasn't too far off from his normal personality, honestly-

_RIVER!_

_RIVER!_

_RIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!_

_PROFESSER RIVER SONG, I HAVE A QUESTION FOR YOU!_

_RIVER!_

_IT'S IMPORTANT!_

_MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOUR SLEEP!_

_WELL, UNLESS SLEEP IS WHAT GIVES YOUR HAIR YOUR MAGIC._

_IN WHICH CASE, KEEP SLEEPING. _

_ACTUALLY, WAKE UP!_

_RIVER WAKE UP WAKE UP!_

_FINE. _

_IT'S A VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION, RIVER! _

_RIVER SONG, CHARLIE THE BADGER FROM MY PHONE WILL EAT YOUR VORTEX MANIPULATOR._

_RIVER!_

_FINE. _

_PLEEEEEEEASE WAKE UP!_

_RIVER!_

_DO YOU WANT TO KNOW THE QUESTION?_

_DO YOU?_

_I'M GOING TO ASSUME YES, THEN._

_RIVER!_

_THE QUESTION IS…_

_DO YOU LOVE ME?_

_SEE, I TOLD YOU IT WAS IMPORTANT. _

_GOOD NIGHT, RIVER. _

_MORE LIKE MORNING NOW, ACTUALLY. _

_BUT ANYHOW-_

_REMEMBER THE QUESTION, RIVER. _

Professor River Song was not known to be overly emotional. Years of hiding tears and pretending had taught her to control her feelings.

However, if there was one thing in this world that she didn't mind caring for, it was her Doctor.

And so, with a smile on her face, she picked up the phone, and keyed in,

_Yes, Sweetie. _

***bowties are cool***

**A/N: **So, I haven't quite got a grasp on these characters yet, but I hope you enjoyed nonetheless.

Would anyone be interested in a spin-off of this- something along the lines of texts sent between the Doctor and River? It'd just be some fluff to combat the heartbreak that Moffat likes to put us through. (:

Reviews are, just like bowties, very cool, and any constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks for reading, and please review!


End file.
